My Heart Has Always Known You

My Beautiful Bird,

Even before you began to grow inside of me, my heart already knew you. And when my arms were ready to hold you, I asked for you to come to me and fill in the puzzle space where you belonged. Oh how I waited for you.

This is at 23 weeks

And then you began to grow inside of me. What a tiny seed you began as! We listened as your heart beat a steady thump thump with mine. I’ve never heard a sweeter percussion session. Over the months you grew so much that my skin stretched to hold you. Sometimes at night you would run your ankles up and down my ribcage and I would wake up your daddy to feel you moving inside of me.

As you know, a baby’s heart is forever linked to her mommy and daddy’s hearts. So when my own mommy and daddy came to welcome you to the world, our hearts joined together and drew you out of me like a magnet. I opened my arms to you as you opened your eyes and looked into mine. And in those eyes there was the simple affirmation of what I have known all along. My heart has always known you just as yours has always known mine.

Tonight while I held you in my arms, I brushed my fingers over your pink skin, taking in each wrinkle and fold. I kissed your eyelids and elbows and rubbed your earlobe between my fingers. With each tender kiss and caress I made a promise to care for you in the way that my heart knows is best.

And it does know what is best because my heart has always known you and it always will.

– Your Mommy

A special thanks to the following blog for the inspiration to write about what being an “instinctual mama” means to me.

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About Crunchy Mama

I'm just your average breastfeeding, babywearing, attachment parenting and cloth diapering crunchy mama/military spouse.
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3 Responses to My Heart Has Always Known You

  1. Tanya says:

    I love it! Pictures say 1000 words and it made me tear up ❤

  2. Debbie Franklin says:

    Hi Emily, that is a great, I would say “essay”, but somehow that’s way too stiff for the words you wrote and the images I saw. Keep writing, you have a nice, descriptive style, as I suppose most English teachers would! Debbie

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